The 7 Hats

Yuval Selik (00:00.066)
not going to be as rigid as a live show. we're recording. Okay, awesome. Hey Mark, welcome to the Seven Hats.

Mark Collins (00:01.225)
Perfect.

Mark Collins (00:16.062)
Thanks, I appreciate it. I'm excited to be here.

Yuval Selik (00:18.302)
listen, I'm thrilled to have you here today. Your story is a powerful example of transformation, purpose, and living life by design. And I know that our listeners, the seven hatters, will gain so much from your wisdom and experience today. And what we're diving into, meaning overcoming fear, aligning with true identity, and balancing success with fulfillment is

is wonderful even when the road gets tough, right? but before we dig into all of that, the seven hatters love a good backstory. So let's rewind. let's get to know Mark a little bit, the early days before all of the, the pain that you must have gone through, within your personal journey. Mark, where were you born and how was your childhood like?

Mark Collins (00:50.942)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (01:13.428)
That's a great question. I appreciate that. So for me, I was born in Lincoln, Nebraska, U.S., you know, middle of America, central, central area of America. And I was born into a military family. So for me, my dad was in the Air Force. And what that meant for us is by the time I was 12 years old, I lived in five states and one foreign country. So by about halfway through my primary education, sixth grade, I'd lived in five different locations. For me, it was throughout the U.S.

and Western US, we didn't travel much on the East Coast, but I did get to know the Western states, Oregon, Utah, North Dakota, and Nebraska, and California, where I moved to myself when I became an adult. So yeah, it was a lot of nomadic existence, finding new cultures, new areas, new people, new relationships, and kind of figuring all that out at, you know, as best I could at an early age.

Yuval Selik (02:06.526)
And tell me about the family life. So you were moving, moving around any siblings. How was, how was that? What was the dynamic like, especially, you know, trying to figure out who you are as a child and, and, and going to school and things of that nature. Tell me that, tell me about that dynamic.

Mark Collins (02:21.524)
Yeah, absolutely. So I'm one of four kids. I have three sisters, two older, one younger. My oldest sister actually passed away a few years ago. So yeah, I'm kind of a little bit in the middle. My younger sister, I have a book I wrote, one that's over my shoulder, Life Mastery, Living Life by Design. I tell the story in there that my sister, my youngest sister was born exactly one year after I was. So I tell people she was the ongoing birthday gift because we shared the same birthday, just one year apart starting.

Yuval Selik (02:51.064)
That's awesome. Go ahead.

Mark Collins (02:53.716)
No, was going to say, and then the family, you my dad was in the military. think, you he was that old school kind of guy who, you know, tough as nails, matter of fact, kind of individual, you know, back in the day that I grew up, my dad was a disciplinarian. You know, he was the threat from my mom. If I was acting up during the day or with my mother, she had always give me the phrase, wait till your dad gets home. And I knew what that meant. It meant that, you know, first off, I pushed my limits and I was going to get some sort of punishment when he came home. So.

Yeah, I tell people he wasn't a drill instructor, but he would have been a great one.

Yuval Selik (03:26.602)
I love that. So I myself moved a lot. My dad is a violin maker. so he escaped Russia back in 70, 72. I was born in 73 and then he started studying violin making in Italy and I was three. And then at nine we moved to the United States and then I was just literally moving every two years.

Mark Collins (03:39.124)
Thanks

Yuval Selik (03:53.26)
So I know the dynamic of going to new schools, friends that you must re-friend every single time you travel or you land at a different location. How did that affect you? What was that like?

Mark Collins (03:53.342)
Wow.

Mark Collins (04:05.598)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (04:13.364)
But you know, for me, it was interesting because it was the dual dynamic of a very strong personality and a father. And like you said, always having to recreate relationships in your life. And, know, you either I would assume are that outgoing bubbly person who fits into any crowd or you were like me, that introvert who felt like there were always the person on the outside, always trying to figure out, you know, where I fit in this new community, because I was the only one who hadn't been there for a while. And so, you know, for me, it was really

first off a level of independence, being comfortable with myself and being by myself and finding some joy in that and then being able to be independent to be able to do like I did. I moved to California on my own for a crazy reason, but when I was adult, I did that. So it was something where I always felt comfortable in new environments, not because I fit in with every crowd, but because it was my normal in having to fit into new environments and.

For me, one of my great joys even as an adult, as a sidebar is being able to, when my wife and I go on vacations, I don't wanna do the touristy things of seeing the things everybody else is, but my interest is always in what are these people doing in their daily lives? What's the things that entertain them? What's the food that they eat? Where are the places that they go? I'm interested in the culture of the place I go to more than seeing all the tourist things and getting all the pictures.

Yuval Selik (05:35.372)
Yeah, I'm exactly the same as you. So what was the dream, you know, growing up? What did you want to do and what happened when you completed school or where's that chapter from young adulthood to starting out in life?

Mark Collins (05:50.942)
Yeah, there was a couple of things that were going on. think the first one was even from a young age, you know, being that introverted person, I, there was this thing on the inside that told me there was more than the life I was living. I didn't feel that I needed to, you know, that being the person who was struggling and, you know, worried in school or that person who was introverted, who was keeping to themselves rather than venturing out in the big adventures. I felt there was more than where I was at. And part of that for me was in entrepreneurship. I remember the very first time I had a job, I was actually in a

a group this week or actually two weeks ago that had an icebreaker question. Do you know, we were, we are all friends and we know each other, but when you know, they're trying to get to know you in a new way. And so the question was, what did you learn from the first job that you had? And the thing I wrote down was I learned that I didn't want to work for somebody else. And so for me, entrepreneurship was really, first off, believing that there was an impact that my life was supposed to have and a dream that I believed I wanted to invest in my own dream.

But it was also trying to figure out, you know, how to become that person that I believed I could be. That person of impact, of confidence and insurance. And so for me, my dad was, you know, standard person, standard father saying, you you need to go to school, you need to get a good job and all of that. And I was doing that right out of high school. Went to university in Utah where my dad retired. So that was the last place we lived. And then from there...

just I saw the roadmap of the life I was going to live and the things I was going to do. And I really didn't want to do that. And so when I was 21 years old, I told my parents, I met somebody who was kind of into music, kind of knew some people in California. I told them I was going to California to become a rock star. It wasn't because I had a, you know, like your father, I'm sure, or maybe even yourself as well. wasn't because I had a musical ability at any high level. I liked music, but what it really was, was me not running towards something, but running away.

from something I didn't wanna become. And so, yeah, that was kind of the start of a journey in a lot of different ways actually.

Yuval Selik (07:53.56)
So what's the next stage in life? So you're now in California and what are you doing?

Mark Collins (08:03.252)
trying to survive, right? You know, the stability in home and I was, you know, living with my parents at the time. So there was no rent there. I had a job that obviously you give up when you leave the state and really trying to recreate myself in California and trying to kind of get my own bearings on what life looked like. So early on it was work. You know, I remember, you know, I remember living in a garage. One of the very first places when I planted myself in Torrance, California was in a garage. The friend I came with who actually went back.

A month later, he quit the dream and left, but I was refusing to do it. But anyways, he introduced me to some friends that were really associates, not so much friends of his and, and one invited me to stay with him and we stayed in a garage and by garage, I don't mean a converted garage into an apartment. I mean a garage that actually was a garage, even so that the, had a cat, the people who own the place and they wanted the cat to be able to come indoors and they weren't going to let it in the house. So the garage door was always open 365 days a year.

Yuval Selik (08:31.331)
Ha

Yuval Selik (08:58.533)
wow.

Mark Collins (09:00.338)
And there was a couch, an old couch that was in there and bunch, know, nothing much that you'd be able to use for living conditions. But we always had the choice at the end of the evening, which was one of us got to sleep on the cushions of the couch. The other one got to sleep on the couch without the cushions. So that was, that was my early start of trying to figure it out. And then from there, you know, job, job, job, trying to figure out what it looks like, but still having that dream of creating my own thing. And so, know, years later met my wife.

we got into a relationship and at the same time started to develop businesses. we eventually came upon a formula that worked for us and they gave us a successful business, but there were several learning experiences along the way, say.

Yuval Selik (09:44.878)
Well, we'll get into the learning experience. I think.

Where did your dream of becoming a rock star end up? What did you do and what did you learn from that experience?

Mark Collins (09:57.394)
Well, I learned absolutely nothing because I didn't do anything with it because it wasn't really a dream I was pursuing and going to put energy into it. was an excuse to leave. Yeah. And so for me, while it was nice and we kind of kind of half heartedly tried to start something at one point, it wasn't something we were really, I was really going to do. I don't believe anybody else who was part of that early band did anything anyway, but really it was honestly, it was really me trying to find that place of impact.

Yuval Selik (10:05.165)
got it. Okay.

Mark Collins (10:25.766)
and I believe there's worth and value in who I was. believe that there's a life I was meant to live. And then it was really trying to figure out, what does that life look like and how do I show up for that life?

Yuval Selik (10:38.104)
So being an introvert and now being in a new place, especially California, which is fearful in itself, we all struggle with this point, fear of failure. What has your experience, especially the early on experiences, what has fear taught you about life and growth?

Mark Collins (10:50.089)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (11:00.606)
You know, that's a great question because I think for me, a lot of it was really unpacking where the fear was coming from. For me, it was really starting to understand where, because, you know, sometimes fear of failure is something that's a bit of a motivator, brings a bit of a panic and worry and anxiety, but you push through it and you move forward. Sometimes it's the thing that stops you from going forward. The thing that stops you from, know, the what ifs in your life. And for me, a lot of it was early on the what ifs of, you know, what if it doesn't work out and what if I don't make money and what if this or that?

and those reasons and excuses stopped me from trying. But there was just again, this innate thing on the inside that said there's more than the life I'm living. This isn't everything. And it was either giving up on that belief or it was finding ways to navigate through it. And so for me, fear, you know, as I started walking through what I call my transformational journey, I created a course called Life Mastery that came from that journey, the blueprint of my life and doing that. What I found in the fear was really that fear just like, you know, a lot of strong emotions, negative emotions, you know,

worry, anxiety, fear, stress are not statements of an experience, but they're statements of an identity. And so for me, like with the fear of failure, you know, as I started to impact that journey through success in business and other things that we can talk about, it was really finding out that it wasn't failing at an activity that was the issue. It was what that failure said about me, because at the end of the day, wasn't, know, those businesses that didn't succeed. wasn't that.

The businesses didn't work out, it didn't succeed. We didn't have the knowledge. It was the wrong area, wrong time, but that I was a failure. And so that unpacking of fear was really unpacking the emotion against the identity statement and trying to figure out, is that true? And is that who I am? Or is that what I tell people you're either living from who you're created to be, or you're living from what your past has told you. And we all have a past that speaks to us. And many times we live from that place. And so for me, a part of it was

really unpacking that in a way to start to see that, okay, well that struggle in school left an imprint in a statement that said, you're not as smart as everybody else. Everybody else is, know, genius, great, easy to succeed at these things, but you're not that guy. It wasn't something I understood, but it was something I believed. And in that, that's where feophthario, that's where imposter syndrome, that's where stopping before you start or stopping at the first obstacle comes in because...

Mark Collins (13:19.752)
Basically those failures are a statement that's proving that you're right. And so for me, it was really starting to unpack a lot of that and starting to unpack where that came from in my life and how to battle those lies with the truth until I really could live from that person that I was created to be that one that I really felt I was even from when I was a teenager.

Yuval Selik (13:39.438)
I'm taking a CEO masterclass and today we were speaking about imposter syndrome. So funny you mentioned that because it obviously has a lot to do with fear and also as you continue to lie to yourself about what you're going to do every day, you develop this habit of just believing you're not good enough. What advice would you, because it seems like you have experience with it like almost every entrepreneur, and I believe nine out of 10 have imposter syndrome.

Mark Collins (13:59.582)
Yeah.

Yuval Selik (14:09.102)
from a study that was done. But what advice would you give to others who feel like imposters in their own lives? And how did they get out of it?

Mark Collins (14:20.21)
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that first off, that's a great question because the foundation of everything I did in my life is what I help other people do in there is and it's really starting from a foundation of identity. Who are you created to be versus who you believe you are? Right. So for a lot of us, you know, that that success that you talked about in me and business success as well, I thought when I reached the success, right, it's not just the imposter syndrome along the way. But when I get there now, now I'll feel perfect. Now I feel valued. Now I feel worthy.

Yuval Selik (14:47.458)
Yep.

Mark Collins (14:48.606)
Because at the end of the day, really what we're trying to do is prove our worth through our achievements. And so for me and the people I work with and what I would give advice to right now would be to start to unpack some of that. Because what I tell people is you're more than your past, although it's got a voice that speaks to you and you're more than your success. Although it is an amazing outcome of who you are. But the problem is we believe that it is who we are, not an outcome of who we are. And so for me, it's starting with that identity statement, understanding who you are. Who are you apart from?

your title, your role, your income, whether you're there already and you're a successful entrepreneur and trying to figure out, well, like with me, I thought fear of failure would leave when I got to the mountaintop, but I found that it came along for the ride and just intensified. So in that place starting to figure out, hey, who are you apart from those things? It doesn't mean you can't achieve amazing things in your life, as well you should. I would advise people to do that, but if that thing is a substitute for identity or a proof of who you are.

Yuval Selik (15:29.422)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (15:43.134)
then there's two things that are going to happen. You're gonna be on the hamster wheel of success having to constantly recreate it because the joy of it lasts about 10 minutes or you'll never get there because you'll never believe you can. And so really for us, it starts with identity. Who are you created to be? The people I work with, tell them we're starting with an I am statement and it is who are you apart from your past and apart from your success. The person looking back at you, the character of the individual looking in the mirror is who you are. If that person can be unshakable, if you can have full confidence in who that person is,

Now you can start to unpack things in regards to success and business and things that you're doing to achieve in your life. And in that place, your failure is just a stepping stone along the way. Imposter syndrome doesn't happen because here's the truth. When I know who I am, I can't be an imposter. And so in that place, really is unleashing. One of the phrases I use often is unlocking and unleashing that hero on the inside in your business relationship and life. When you understand who that hero is, that person on the inside that you're striving to become.

you'll start to see them show up and imposter syndrome, you can't lie to yourself about who you are when you know who you are.

Yuval Selik (16:48.632)
Yeah, know, life has an interesting way of teaching you very, very quickly the aspects of yourself that you need to learn. If you don't need to learn something, life's not teaching you anything, but when you do need to learn something, it really has a way of doing so. And so the seven hats, the concept, the framework that I've learned over the years, very similar situation, you know, the new failure and hitting rock bottom and...

Mark Collins (16:58.238)
Yeah.

Yuval Selik (17:16.428)
imposter syndrome and the whole thing. And we're not alone here, Others have and will in the future. since the seven hats is rooted in a specific concept and that is there's a difference between achievement and fulfillment, right? And you speak about that a lot and so eloquently. If you can bring some examples of how you learned, because not everybody knows this, how you learned

Mark Collins (17:18.206)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (17:21.726)
Yeah.

Yuval Selik (17:47.138)
the difference between achievement and fulfillment through potentially some of the lessons, whether it's business or life, that you can share with the seven-hatters.

Mark Collins (17:56.414)
Yeah, absolutely. And that's a great point. And for us, the language that I use is there's a difference between success and fulfillment. It's exactly the same thing. I want to tell people that whether it's success or achievement, I tell people it's easy. doesn't mean it doesn't take work, but it's easy from the standpoint of all I need to do is work hard enough, long enough. I outwork the next person. I outwork the leader in my industry or that person that I'm trying to achieve beyond. And I eventually get to that place of some level of success, right? I've been there with business success. I know you have, and I'm sure

a multitude of people listening to this half. So success is easy from the standpoint of, really don't have to change me. I just have to manage me to get there. And in that place, but here's the challenge with it. I was there at that place of success, being at the mountain top. Now I've got a business. Now, okay, now that young man who didn't feel like he was smart enough, now I'm smart enough. Now that young man that tried to measure up to a dad, he felt he never could. Now I feel like I'm a person of worth. But it wasn't the case. I was just successful. See, success is an outward.

expression of an inward belief. And so if I don't believe I am those people, that person of worth and value and integrity and that person that I believed I could be, then when I achieve success, it'll never last and I'll never believe it anyway. I'll just have to do it again and do it again after that. And that's where burnout happens. That's where, you know, failure happens. You know, we all have people that we know, the marquee individuals who are amazing at whatever. And then they crashed and burned while they crashed and burned because my, my success was a substitute for identity.

Fulfillment on the other hand, and the thing I use is I tell people first there's an identity and a definition we give to life mastery. It's who you, life mastery, the work that we're having people do and the work I did in my own life was me living from who I was created to be. First and foremost, hey, who am I? If I'm not my past, I'm not my failures, I'm not my successes, but I'm the guy walking into it, then who is that man? And so for us, it's who you're created to be at the highest level you're created for in every area of life.

So I achieve in business or success or relationship or spiritually or financially or physically, not because I need to prove who I am, but because I know who I am. And that's what that person looks like lived out. So fulfillment to me is you living out this passionate understanding that this is exactly the life I'm created for. Whether it's in your business venture or your artistic endeavor or whatever, your academic field, the thing that you know that man, you know the thing that I'm sure you experienced that I have as well where you're

Mark Collins (20:22.176)
you lose track of time and you have to be scheduling and other things to pull yourself away from the thing that you really wanna do. And there's always more and you're always trying, like with my wife, I drive her crazy because there's the schedule and there's the extra five, 10 minutes I'm trying to invest in it, trying to sneak in before I actually move to the next thing, going out, going to and stuff, having time with family or whatever. I don't ignore my family, but it is that thing that it magnetizes you.

you know that, this is exactly who I'm created to be. It doesn't mean the work's not hard, but what it means is, you know that this is me living out who I am. The impact in the world that has my name on it and yours and everyone I'm listening to this, this is the me thing. And so fulfillment is you living from that place, knowing that this absolutely resonates with who I am. And this is me lived out. I call it effortless excellence. It doesn't mean it doesn't have challenges to overcome and things to understand and ways to grow.

but it's effortless in the place of I don't have to work myself up to do this thing. It's easy for me to find time for it and to do it and to be passionate about it. That's what fulfillment looks like.

Yuval Selik (21:30.456)
Yeah, for me, the most heartbreaking notion is to see an extremely successful individual in terms of success. And I put air quotes. And that's a lot of it, I think, was magnified since 2007, when social media came into play. And now everybody can compare themselves.

against those that are not successful, but pretend to be successful or those that are successful, but only talk about the success rather than the difficulty in getting there and the speed in which folks are getting to be successful, which is not a natural phenomenon. It's very rare to, gain success quickly. And so you have these individuals who through. Great and determination and hyper-focus achieve a sort of success where they believe that.

If I just achieve this dream and it could be financial, whatever dream it is, then I'll find happiness. And so the whole journey of, of meaning, as you just described is not there because they're just chasing that dream, chasing that dream. have their goals, their schedule looks packed. I mean, it's all there, but then what happens is they achieve this dream. And for 10 minutes, it's exciting. And, I'm, and this is true.

Mark Collins (22:34.11)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (22:52.766)
Yeah.

Yuval Selik (22:56.143)
Ten minutes is really all you got. And I don't care if it's a Ferrari, if it's a mansion, if it's a billion dollars in the bank, whatever that is, it's a short-lived high. And when there's no more to be attained and you spent your entire life trying to achieve a goal,

That's when you find billionaires or very successful folks on antidepressants or taking their own lives because there's just no more meaning. They asked themselves a question, is this all there is? If it took me so long and so much effort to achieve this goal and I'm still not happy and I still am not fulfilled, then what else is there? And I think that's the biggest trap, I think, in business.

Mark Collins (23:22.505)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (23:30.633)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (23:36.492)
And the interesting thing is what I tell people is it's not their fault. And you know this as well as with the people you work with. And the reason is, the full title of my book is Life Mastery, Living Life by Design, Not by Default. And what I find apart from a transformational journey, one that helped you to create what you did and me create what I did, apart from that transformational journey, we're living by what the world says and what the standard is of happiness or fulfillment, right?

We don't even go for Fofama because we don't know that you necessarily can, but success, that's something everybody understands. But in that place, it's the formula, it's the blueprint that everybody uses because of, know, nowadays it's social media. But even in the old days, I remember, I'm old enough to remember Shokov, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. I love that show.

Yuval Selik (24:19.458)
my favorite.

Mark Collins (24:21.682)
I love that, so that was a precursor to Instagram, right? That was the light, know, people and beautiful places, beautiful people, beautiful things. And so we see that not knowing the journey to get there or the person who's actually there. And so we think that, like you said, once I'm there, happens. So we are all living by default apart from that understanding of a difference between success and fulfillment. What I tell people really in summary is success either is coming from who you are or it's a substitute for who you are. And I know when it's a substitute, it's that journey you were on and I...

Yuval Selik (24:24.546)
Yeah, exactly.

Mark Collins (24:50.932)
was on as well where it lasts 10 minutes and it's now the what next. Or it's the person that you talk to who's amazingly successful and you find you're in a conversation trying to convince them that they have an amazing life. Because there's no happiness at the end of that rainbow because what they were hoping to get, which is really at the end of the day, everybody all the time, I haven't met a person yet who doesn't want this, I just wanna know that I matter. At the end of the day in relationships and in achieving and all of that,

Yuval Selik (25:18.626)
For sure.

Mark Collins (25:20.018)
The outcome is whether we know what our understanding is, I just wanna know that I matter. And we think that when I get those things, I will, because that's what everybody else says. And then the negative thought patterns will stop and I'll have everything I want. But again, if you're not striving and starting from the place where you're understanding who you are, because what I tell people is fulfillment. It doesn't have an income level. It doesn't have a title. It doesn't have a role, right? It doesn't have a zip code and it doesn't have a Ferrari attached to it.

What I mean is that fulfillment isn't me creating a certain income level. So when I can reach Elon Musk level or this person's level or that person's the Instagram lifestyle, when I can reach what they have, I'll be good. It's understanding, no, but again, lifestyle, life mastery, who are you created to be at the highest level you're created for? It's an awesome question that you have to be able the opportunity to answer, which says, what is that level of life? Relationally, living from who I am, investing who I am in the relationship.

but what is that level of life that I'm supposed to have with this person, the level of investment and intimacy and vulnerability and authenticity, what does that look like lived out? And vocationally and in the other areas, we have five spheres of life master, you have seven hats, but in each of those, I would say this, what is the level of life that you're created for and how can you strive towards that? as a means of achieving it, but really unleashing who you are and the life you're supposed to have in it.

Yuval Selik (26:44.386)
Yeah, I mean, that's so important what you said. And it's, and it's true. If you look at, if you take a big microscope and put it over Beverly Hills and you take a big microscope and you put it over Bangladesh, you're going to find a lot of folks in Bangladesh that are very fulfilled and happy and, nowhere near as stressed as those that have it all, you know, and that's, and that's, and that's an interesting dynamic. I'm not saying one is better than the other. think in life, there's always a dualistic.

Mark Collins (27:06.248)
Yeah.

Yuval Selik (27:13.87)
uh, uh, insight that no matter which road you're, you're going to go on, I don't care which road you're going to have your pros and cons. You're in Bangladesh, you're going to have your pros and cons. You're in Beverly Hills, you're going to have pros and cons. It's just a different pro and con. But the fact that you can find fulfillment when you have nothing just shows you that it is absolutely non-related to any external material possession that you have. And it's all, all comes from inside, which is why I had number one.

which is self-love, right, is the golden hat. If you don't have hat number one, taking care of mindset, self-love, know, internal character traits that you have to build up. If you don't have that hat, none of the other hats, not health, not relationships, not business, not finances, not even spirituality, it won't fit in. And that's why it's so important. And speaking of character, you said, cause I,

Mark Collins (27:45.833)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (28:07.912)
Yeah.

Yuval Selik (28:12.298)
I read somewhere you said your character is your calling. How can someone build the character that aligns with their purpose as you speak to in finding their fulfillment?

Mark Collins (28:23.304)
Yeah, I think that's a great question. And it's a chapter in my book. It's a lesson that I have in my course as well. And the reason that I have it there is simply because a lot of times we're looking for external things to prove an internal worth. So I'm looking to, again, become that person who has the business, who has the success, who has the Ferrari, and then I'll be somebody of worth. And so what I let them know is that it's not something you're striving for to prove who you are. It's something you're achieving in your life because of who you are.

So rather than looking towards those external ideas and things and possessions to prove a sense of self-worth, know, at the end of the day, it's this question that you have to answer and it's, do I own my possessions and you know, business, income, home, all of those things, or do they own me? And how you know the difference is, what if I took all of them away? What would be the person that's left? What would be the value and worth that you would feel at that time? And so it comes from that place of character. It's not me.

creating new things for me, it's unleashing what's inside me. So the character isn't me adding values and worth and capabilities and training so that I can have more skill sets. Because it's not about your skill set, it's about you. Just like with you in this podcast or Elon Musk with what he does or whatever. mean, anybody at any level, it's you lived out that's the secret sauce to whatever you're doing. It's not the skill set because there's other people who can have it who don't have that impact. It's understanding, okay, well,

Who am I and how is this person lived down? And so for me, it comes down to an identity statement. If I could give one really quickly, a version of an I am statement for me would be, I'm a person of compassion and care. I'm a person that's passionate for the things that I believe in and I give them all that I have. I'm empathetic to those who are in need and I'm caring to those that I love. So it's really starting from that place of what is your character? Because that same guy who does those things is the same entrepreneur. It's the same husband. It's the same friend. It's the same neighbor.

Those are the attributes you're bringing into every role that you have. And so it's not something I'm trying to do as a skillset to gain. It's how can I understand that? What I tell people is this, are you the answer to the room you're walking into or the question to be figured out? So understanding that there's something I get to bring here. There's an impact I'm supposed to have here. And I love that self love part for us. of our unpacking is helping people create a celebration list. What do you love about you is a question we ask them to answer.

Yuval Selik (30:29.112)
love that.

Mark Collins (30:44.424)
because if I can't love me, then nobody else can either. And if I don't love me, then I'll never receive anything that's gonna substitute for it. And so it's in that place of understanding your character is who you are lived out. Stop looking to get to the mountain top and then I'll have value. Start understanding that you have value right now and what can you impact your current circumstance and invest in with who you are. And in that place, see yourself flourish in ways that are beyond success that are more.

in the alignment with the fulfillment that you're looking for in your life.

Yuval Selik (31:16.11)
So based on the character or your character, let's just break it down very simple to or simply to the seven adders. What are the top character traits that are so important in your theory of finding fulfillment? look, two questions. One, what are the top character traits that you require in order to even get there, right? To even start as a foundation. But we all have 24 hours in a day.

right, to get everything done. And to achieve the results of the seven hats, to achieve the results of life mastery, you have to figure out how to manage multitude of tasks and projects and discoveries and deliverables and all the things that you must achieve in order to get there. So one, what are the character traits that are most important to get you there? But second, how do you fit it all in?

Mark Collins (32:02.697)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (32:11.54)
Yeah, the first one's really interesting question. The second one as well. So the first part of it is, know, that it really is dependent on you. So what are the character traits that matter in your life? To me, compassion is something that matters, caring and loving for those that are around me, even when it's uncomfortable. Another one is a tenacity and then willingness to give up. And everybody who's an entrepreneur, which is probably a vast portion of your audience, they understand that. As I think you believe you talked about in the intro in the first part of our conversation that there are no overnight successes.

that there is no person who makes it amazingly without any kind of struggle or strive for issues. So that tenacity, that is something that needs to take place, right? To be able to have that, willingness to overcome some things. Vulnerability is another one, and that's the one that makes everybody uncomfortable because it's in this place of vulnerability that you can act in a way that allows you to address the things that are standing in your way, which is your past, your pains, your hurts, and the lies that you believe.

whether you're a multi-millionaire, you're somebody just trying to start a business or you're trying to just have a good relationship, at the end of the day, you're either living from who you're created to be or the life that you've lived, the past that you've had, the experiences that you've walked through. I've never met a person yet at all, ever, apart from a transformational journey, who isn't living from what their past has told them they are. And they're either measuring up to it or measuring down to it, or they're trying to overcome it.

but they're never living from the place of authentically who I'm created to be. So really that place of tenacity and vulnerability is me being willing to say that, you know, even in business, sometimes we'll put the things in the back closet that we don't want to deal with. Well, those back closet things are the things that are changing your life in ways you don't understand. Can you open up to the truth of the matter of who you are, be honest about where you're at, and then that place move forward for that. And as far as time goes,

There's a couple of things I would say. The first one is a bit of a conviction that I found in my own life. What I found was that in business or athletics or academics, those things that I was striving to succeed at, if I had a challenge that came up, I would find a way of overcoming it. You know that in business as well, right? We are tenacious about, I've got to find a solution to this. Whether it's an accounting issue or a production issue or an employment issue, right? We're gonna find answers to make sure that we overcome those things that are stopping our success.

Mark Collins (34:31.432)
The interesting thing with entrepreneurs that I find fascinating is we're willing to master our business, but we manage ourselves. Meaning that these feelings of imposter syndrome, fear of failure, all of those things. There was a conversation probably more than a month ago with a nine figure entrepreneur where he said, you know, every time there's a big business deal that comes up, I still feel that fear of failure. That I still struggle with that. I still have those thoughts in my head. He said this, he said, I guess it's just part of the...

the success story, I guess it's just part of what you have to deal with. And it drove me crazy because many times we just manage things in our life that we would never tolerate in our business. And so it's that place of mastery. And so here's the truth of the matter. We have a three-step transformational strategy, mastering your thoughts, words and actions. Don't have time to go into the nuts and bolts of all of it, but the truth of the matter is there's no change or transformation that happens that doesn't happen in your thoughts, words and actions first.

But here's the truth of the matter. While it's a formula that we use, it's not a formula that you haven't already used. Because the truth of the matter for again, successful entrepreneurs, somebody starting out or somewhere in between is that you're already having your thoughts tell you who you are. Are they empowering you to live the life that you're created for or are they disempowering and stopping you from doing so? You already have words that you're using. Are they expressing what you believe is the highest value you have and the highest outcome you can have? Or are they stopping you from doing those things?

and you're already taking action as the action, right? No action is an action. An action to stop or to control is the same as an action to unleash and to overcome. An action is an action, whether it's stopping you or inviting you to invest in your business. So those tools that we already use, you already using in your life. The difference is that you have a pivotal shift, a mindset change, right? A paradigm shift to understand that these things I am using by default,

in ways that have actually held me back. Now that I realize what the secret to those things are, I'm simply transforming the things that I would already use in my life, but I'm doing them in ways that again, that phrase I love to use that unlock and unleash the here inside me in my business relationships and life. It's not more work you're doing. It's just changing the things you've already been doing in a way that elevates you into the life that you're created for.

Yuval Selik (36:46.23)
I love how you said living by default. how does the shift, how does one shift from living by default to living by design?

Mark Collins (36:53.82)
The first is to understand that you can, right? All of those things that everybody else said, default is me going by externals to change internals, or I hope I will. Nobody really promises it, but we always have expectation of it. So the first is a paradigm shift of understanding. First off, this is how you've been living. And by the way, no fault, no harm, no foul. You're like every single other person out there, but understanding is the first key to changing, whether it's in overcoming a bad habit or finding a new way to succeed.

And so that's the first thing, it's a paradigm shift, right? And in that place, how do you incorporate tools to help me live by design, to proactively live my life? It's very interesting thing, right? My dad was in the military, so I'll give you a military analogy. Here's one thing I, and I actually was, we didn't unpack the story, but I joined the Marine Corps Reserves out of high school, and that was a part of my early journey. Here's one thing I found out. Nobody ever trains for battle after you're in the war, but you train ahead of time, so you're successful in the war.

And so that living by design is understanding those mastering your thoughts, words and actions. We understand we use them, but we typically use them after we have them there. So even in success programs, right? They'll build up mantras and affirmations and those things. And so when fear comes up, I'll speak out my favorite affirmation, my favorite mantra, I'll beat my thoughts into submission until they're quiet for a period of time. And then I move on with whatever that task is that I'm doing. And then next time they happen, I do it again. And the next time they happen, I do it again. That's life by default.

Like my design says is rather than attack the fruit on a tree to try and kill it, what if I was attacked to the root? What if I was to create thoughtful mastering thoughts, words and actions that I actually affirm and use in my own life before I walk into stressful situations? So I actually pre-frame my life in a way that aligns with who I'm created to be and not what my past has told me. And in that place I get to live it out. So I hope that answers your question. I think it was probably more than yes for.

Yuval Selik (38:44.076)
Yeah, no, totally doesn't. You being, thank you for sharing that you were in the military, but your dad and yourself in the military, obviously you know and understand routines and habits very well. So what habits and routines help you stay grounded with and aligned with your purpose right now?

Mark Collins (38:56.798)
Yeah.

Mark Collins (39:04.82)
The first is this, starting your day with reminding yourself of who you are. And here's the interesting thing. I don't have to often do it as much now. So when you start to believe who you are and show up as that person you're created to be, you don't necessarily have to continue to remind yourself of that. But I'm always start my day first off with me. There's a morning meditation. There's time of quiet before I do any activity. And there's those habits of saying, this is who I am.

reminding myself so that when stress happens, that, you know, unexpected challenge comes up, when, know, the flat tire, the broken down car ride, or those amazing challenges that can happen, relationship and life, health issues or what have you, when those things come up, because life happens with everybody, I've already pre-framed myself with the person walking in the room. That phrase that I talked about, you know, I tell people this because I knew it in my own life and I told myself often and still do. And the answer to the circumstance I'm walking into, I'm not the question to be figured out.

the challenges that I'm about to walk into, I'm going to have answers, solutions and ideas that are gonna drive me towards an empowering future. And in that place, when you start to do that, you start to see that. So for me, it is that pre-framing. Mastering your thoughts starts with actually choosing to create thoughts for you to think, not wait for the thoughts to come in and then try and counteract them.

Yuval Selik (40:23.06)
It's amazing how routines, habits, but more routines, how impactful they are to a successful day. There's no question that, because I'm very much a routine guy as much as I can. But there are days that I just, like any human being wants to sleep in, won't get out of bed no matter what, no matter how many affirmations or

You know, whatever happens in my mind calling me a loser or whatever it is, I will not get out of bed because I just want to stay in. It's nice and warm and cozy. But at the end of the day, there's a marked difference between productivity, fulfillment, insights, the way I show up, the way I react to others and interact with others. And it's just amazing that folks don't focus more on

routines. They're so important in somebody's life, at least in my opinion, in my perspective.

Mark Collins (41:24.712)
Yeah. And if I could add something to that. So here's the thing I wouldn't tell people to do is to just create a routine and do it. So for us, some of the work that we unpack, and I'm sure you do in the work you do. So we have five spheres, five areas of life mastery, spiritual, relational, vocational, physical, financial. Don't necessarily need to unpack them, but we have those five spheres of life mastery. And so for me and the people I work with, we start to invest in what's your vision for each of those five areas.

Right? So relationally for me and my spouse, I believe in we're going to have an authentic and vulnerable relationship. We're going to have amazing times for us. Our children are actually grown up. So we are believing that this is our honeymoon season of our life for us to be able to walk into a honeymoon season while they're grown up and living their own lives. And we're able to invest in ways that you couldn't when you were a parent in those ways. So for me and for the people I work with, it's understanding what is your vision, right? Life master living from who I am at the highest level I'm created for. What is that vision?

for each of these areas of your life. And so my routines will be informed by the vision I have for my life. So I have a spiritual routine that starts with meditation and time with, know, in my faith walk in the morning. I have this relational walk and so I have time of investment with my family and those things that I do with my wife as an intentionality of building the relationship, walking towards that vision we have vocationally, right? For me, it's either, it's a job at business, an artistic endeavor. What's the you thing that's gonna be impacted in the world?

simply because you live. For me, it's these things I'm doing with Life Mastery. So I'm working towards building tools and resource, inviting people into the journey, investing in them in ways that they can. So there's visions in each of these areas. So my routines work from, this is the life I'm working towards. I'm walking towards the Life Mastery life I'm created for. And these are the things I'm doing to inform them, to grow in them and to develop in them so that I have that ultimate vision for my life lived out.

Yuval Selik (43:18.324)
I mean, look, you work with many individuals. And when I was speaking to earlier that I want to just stay under the covers because it's nice and warm, it's only because the routine that I put myself through is very painful. and, the reason it's painful is because I understand that pain equals growth and sacrificing today's pain for your future selves, you know, success is really the only way you have to.

Mark Collins (43:31.881)
Yeah.

Yuval Selik (43:47.554)
to think about it, but how do you encourage your clients to view discomfort as a sign of progress and not to just stay in bed every day because they don't want to go and do the cold plunge or, or, you know, go heavy on the workout or, or do the meditation and whatever it is, writing, journaling, all the things that are so impactful. What's your secret in, in, in helping them understand that that current pain today will lead to success in the future.

Mark Collins (44:16.03)
Yeah, I think first off, you start with the vision and work backwards. What is the life that you're desiring to have? And then you work towards the steps of what is it, what are the steps I need to take to get there? And so any pain like with yourself, right? And I'm sure you have many examples of it in your own life where the pain that I'm doing right now isn't, I'm not, you know, we're not narcissistic or we're not really people who are just trying to do it because we want to, you know, think we're the most amazing thing out there and we're not doing it because.

We love routines. We're doing it because this routine leads to that ultimate goal that I have in my life. And so for us, if you're struggling and negotiating with today, my question is, is your tomorrow clear enough in your vision to be able to see it? There is this, I consider it an amazing blueprint that we use in Life Mastery to get you to where you're created to be, but it takes first and foremost, you having a vision for your life beyond today and one that you're willing to put sacrifice into. If you could get there without sacrifice, you would have already been there.

We already know that in business and in our lives. So with that being said, maybe you need to do things that are differently, but again, it's always starts with your vision. I can walk through walls. If I know that at the end of that, you know, I'm going to have the thing that I desire, whether it's the hard conversations and relationship, whether it's those, you know, 10, 12, 14 hour days that I'm working in my business, because I'm ultimately working towards that goal that we desire. If your vision isn't clear and isn't vivid and isn't, you know, ever present and yours again,

I don't need your vision for my life because I can't motivate myself off of what the success is that it looks like in your life. But if I can have a clear vision, that's the start of it. And so the motivation starts with that. And the other part is, you know, twofold. The first is give yourself credit along the way. There's an exercise we use underneath the umbrella of identity that I invite people to create an accomplishment list. I've created 132. I invite them to only create 20, but here's the truth of the matter that you know.

when I got to 50 to 70 to 90, frankly, when I got to 20, all of the more key things were already off the list. When I got to something beyond 100, I was writing things down like I graduated from high school, I graduated from junior high, I've owned 10 cars, we've had five dogs, those things that you do in your life, the normal routines of your life. When you get beyond a certain number, it really is, you gotta reach for the small incremental increases and successes in your life. And what I try and build in the people in doing that is,

Mark Collins (46:42.61)
you are a success waiting to happen. And it's in those incremental successes in your life that the big dreams happen. It's in doing those small things and giving yourself credit for doing them and recognizing them in yourself that you give yourself momentum towards that great vision in your life. A lot of times our biggest challenge is when I get to the mountain top, when I have that CEO suite, when I am that, you know, seven figure, eight figure entrepreneur, then I'll be able to give myself credit. Then I'll myself a pat on the back and say, it's great. Well, what...

You know, if you just look at Olympic athletes, what Olympic athletes know that most people don't is if you don't celebrate the small successes, most times you won't get to the big successes. And those big successes you do get to in that place won't matter that much because now you need to do it again. So for us, it's really give yourself credit for where you're at. Give yourself credit for those small incremental things because each of them is an investment in you by you. It's a bet on yourself that I'm going to do this. And today I'm working out.

or today I'm getting up at five in the morning, or today I'm putting that extra time into the thing I'm supposed to be doing. So give yourself credit for where you're at, have a vision where you're going to be, and give yourself grace to know that it's gonna take time, it won't be overnight, but it'll be beyond worth it.

Yuval Selik (47:58.188)
I love what you said about celebrate the small things and not the wins. And I do that. I've started doing that in my practice when I work out. So let's say I'm lifting weights. have four sets and the third set. That's when I pat myself on the back and I say, did a good job. You got up in the morning. You got this far. Now let's push a little bit further for that fourth set. I don't wait for the fourth set to pat myself on the back because then it's too late. So I think that's, that's.

really interesting mentality and you know terms of we all the seven hats has bookends right so we have hat number one hat number seven hat number one is the soul as we discuss is the relationship with yourself i don't know if you can guess what hat number seven is but hat number seven is called the seeker which is the relationship with god and so the bookends hold every other hat together because you got to have both in a sense you're

obviously a spiritual guy. How does spirituality or religion shape your life and more importantly your coaching philosophy?

Mark Collins (49:06.164)
Yeah, for me it is everything. So from a personal perspective, I can't know who I am without knowing who my creator is. And I can, but really it's, you know, when you want to know how something was created or how it was made, go to the person who made it. Because rather than knowing a few things and the rest of it being rumors, you'll have all of the intricate knowledge of what's happening. And so in my own journey, the people that I work with, if you're a person of spirituality, your I am statements, your understanding who you are, we'll always start from that place.

who were you created to be and what does the creator say about you? So for me personally, it's everything because at the end of the day, I believe my life is got greater value and worth more than just the things that I achieve. That there's an innate value and worth inside of me. And it wasn't simply because I'm a few cells put together in a random way and in a person in my case, 60 years ago, but that there was an intentionality in my design and my creation. so individually it's everything. And as far as coaching,

Two things, if you're a person with a spiritual background, then there's an easy conversation we can have. What I tell people is the tools in my course, the tools work even if you don't know the author. But every one of the tools that I have, including Mastering Your Thoughts, Words and Actions, Identity, I Am Statement and all that, I have a foundational scripture that informed that instruction that I give them. You don't have to understand it or even believe it for it to work because again, truth works. Whether you understand it, whether you believe it or whether you understand the author of it.

But the other part is this that's interesting, which I really love is in having that spiritual component to my life, I see it in others and hopefully can express a value in them even sometimes when they don't see it in themselves. It gives me an ability and a great honor to the same things I think about myself. It's not me alone who's got created value and worth innately because I was simply born.

It's seeing that in other people. And so my investment from a coaching perspective in them always comes from that place. It never comes from a place of achievement. It never comes from just overcoming hurt and past and pain. It comes from, there's this innate value inside of you. There's a package that has your name on it. There's an impact that is innately in you. Can we help to unpack that? And so for me, the informing of the direction we take,

Mark Collins (51:25.84)
is in me seeing in them those things, believing in them those things. And hopefully, well, not hopefully, it's certainly worked out well. And hopefully with many more is providing them the tools and strategies to really unpack that in their own life so that they're not just achieving those things at the mountain top, although those things are amazing, but they're doing it from who they are so that they can have not just the impact, but the joy of it that they're meant to have.

Yuval Selik (51:49.24)
So since, I just want to expand on that. So since spirituality is such an important part of your course and your life, when you have...

folks come seeking your help and they're not spiritual at all. Do you find there's a unique shift, a difference between those that are coming in on a spiritual path versus those that are new to it? Do you see them transform when they're in your course? What does that look like? How do you handle those individuals?

Mark Collins (52:03.166)
Mm-hmm.

Mark Collins (52:24.168)
Yeah, absolutely. You know, first off, think there's, with many people, think innately, we're looking for some spiritual answers. We think that there's something more than just, you know, the nuts and bolts of success strategy. And we know that because many times we're struggling against it ourselves. And so, you know that, well, strategy alone isn't working. There has to be something more. And so, I believe there's this internal journey that many people are on. So, there's an openness to something and there's not really a resistance because there's a multitude of courses and programs out there that have

a type of spiritual component may be very, you know, generic. may be more esoteric. It may be very, you know, Christian driven, but you know, there's always not always, but there's many that have that. So that's not a, that's not a surprise, but what I think is enjoyable is seeing results in people. And, know, I don't shy away from my journey or my, my faith walk. I don't lead with it because I don't need to. My, desire is to invest in people.

not let them know what my journey is, but in that place, hopefully have them see in that something authentic that they want for themselves. And so there are those opportunities for conversation. In many cases, there's some people who resist and other people who are open to it, but there's always the hope that, again, it's not just the tool, it's not just the truth you're using, but if you wanna know who the author is, this is what it looks like lived out in my life.

Yuval Selik (53:46.446)
So inspiring and just heartwarming listening to your story and your path and I admire you for that. So I'd like to close out my interviews with everyone with the following question. Who did you have to stop being and who did you need to become to manifest your current success?

Mark Collins (54:07.368)
Hmm.

Mark Collins (54:15.412)
Well, if you wanted to do it in life mastery terms, I had to stop being the person my past told me I was, that young man of insecurity and failure that was not going to succeed, that wasn't going to do big things in his life. And I needed to become the person that even as a young teenager, I remember being in my room believing this can't be everything that my life is meant to live. I think there's more than me being held back from my life by the fear that I'm gripped with. So it was really becoming that person I...

dreamed I could be and believed I could be in my own life. It's a person of assurance and passion and care. It's a person of compassion and love and empathy for those who are walking in the journey. That's the guy I had to become. Really for me, it was a person who I needed to become that bulletproof man that was willing to be authentic in front of other people, even if they couldn't receive that from me and believe that in me.

Yuval Selik (55:06.99)
A very heart opening episode here, Mark. So tell the Seven Hatters, how do they get to life mastery? How do they buy your books? How do they get in touch with you?

Mark Collins (55:19.316)
Yeah, absolutely. I appreciate it. So I try and be a one stop shop. Everything I have is on my website. The website is freedom-4-life.net. Freedom-4-life.net on there. My Life Mastery course is there with all the bells and whistles, the one-on-one coaching and all those things that, you know, unpacking the things that we've talked about in this conversation. There's also my ebook version of my book. You see the hard copy behind me. You can get that on Amazon, but

You can get an ebook version on my website so you can take it on any device you have. So that's there as well. Personally, if you want to reach out to me, have questions about Life Mastery, reach me at mark, M-A-R-K at freedom-for-life.net.

Yuval Selik (55:59.468)
Mark, thank you so much for gracing us on the Seven Hats. It's been a true pleasure and an honor to speak with you and I look forward to speaking with you again in the future and thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Mark Collins (56:12.67)
Thank you for the amazing conversation. It was great being here.

Yuval Selik (56:15.704)
Thank you. Awesome. Appreciate it. Let me just stop here.